What Your Mother Should've Told You

I like this book as it teaches the very basic rule of life.


LIFE LESSONS
1. How to be happy
The pleasant by-product of this method is a rise in self-esteem. And once you start to feel like you're worth something you'll find hapiness- because it's in you.

2. How to make friends
Have your attitude aligned to friend-making. Smile, ask questions, don't fold your arms. It's not what you say that matters but the fact that you started a conversation in the first place. In the end, everyone just wants to be heard.

3. How to survive a set back
Remind yourself of your own strengths. Use your strengths. When you're feeling strong enough, make a frank assessment of the situation. What was my part in this? Is there anything I could have done differently? If it ever happens again, you will know what to avoid.

4. How to appear smarter
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak out and remove all doubt. But ideally you should hover somewhere in between. This means asking questions like "and then what happened?"

5. How to say no
Focus on your needs when you say no. Explain your reasons for not doing that. The sooner you start saying no, the easier it will be for everyone.

6. How to handle yourself in an argument
"Agree to disagree!" First, breathe. Count to 10. Don't talk while you are emotional. Think about it and talk after all cool down.

7. How to speak in public
Rehearse. The more prepared you are, the less chance you have of being rattled. Bring your notes. People only ever retain 20% of what you tell them.

8. How to budget like you mean it
Do the budget based on your pay cycle. Work out the absolute expenses (fixed expenses). Then work out your variable expenses. Expenses should not exceed your income.

9. How to not let money rule your life
The solution is not to penny-pinch but to refocus your goals. Start to giving away (to charity), not only will make you aware of how rich you are compared to somebody in Africa. You will also begin to feel better about yourself. When your self-esteem rises, you won't need so many material things to make you feel good. Read books to enrich your mind rather than spending money on buying things.

10. How to reduce your carbon footprint at home
Watch how you shop, turn off your appliances, use energy-efficient light bulbs,turn on your air-con above 24 deg.

MODERN MANNERS

1. How to turn down a big invitation
Call or send a note or email saying you can not come. Don't have to give an excuse. To compensate, tell them you would love to take them out to dinner at a time convenient for them to celebrate. Having dinner at your house does not count.

2. How to react to a gift you don't like
You must pretend that you like the present. Not pretending may lead to well-intentioned feelings getting hurt. Telling them that you are overwhelmed to unwrap anything now, but will open all presents later. A simple "Aww! thank you!" and it's done.

3. How to properly introduce yourself or someone else
Say Hi, follow with you name. Say "Nice to meet you" only after the other person has spoken as it can not be nice to meet them until you have properly met. Contextual yourself, like you are sister of A, or Manager of B dept. If you are introducting one person to another, and you've contextualised them, the next step is to draw out a common interest. If you are introducing one person to a group, then introduce the rest of the group to the person also. If you have forgotten someone's name it's far better to come clean than to not introduce them at all. If you are sitting, it's always best to stand when being introduced.

4. How to be a good neighbour
Don't be nosy. Don't park in anyone's driveway except your own and tell guests when the demarcation lies. Dispose your garbage thoughtfully and securely. Don't play loud music, dry your hair or turn on washing machine after 10pm. Chatting or at least saying hello to the elders of the neighbourhood.

5. how to deal with passive aggression
Treat the passive aggressive people with a small amount of compassion, because underneath it all they really feel like a trapped child. Encourage open communication by expressing what you will and won't put up with. Don't bring up old grievances. Keep it light-hearted. Dissolved tension by humour.

6. How to apologies properly
Don't use "I'm sorry you were offended" as you are not accepting responsibility and by shifting onto them, you are inflicting further harm. Screaming "I'm sorry!" in the middle of the argument can be interpreted as sarcastic. Wait until you both have calmed down, then apologize. By "Sorry", things don't go back to normal. "People don't forget." Begin by explaining what you know you did wrong without offering any excuses. Then tell the person how sorry you are. Then talk to them about possible ways you can avoid repeating your behaviour in the future.

7. How to politely refuse advice
Just say "uh-huhs" and change the subject. Shutting them down doesn't help you long term. Just nod your head slowly to convey your awe at their specialised knowledge and reply "Yes! I know!".

8. How to behave at the funeral
Be on time. Wear conservative clothes that are black. Don't sit down the front, make yourself as unobstrusive as possible. Offer condolences (I'm so sorry) then quickly move on.

TRICKY SITUATIONS

1. How to escape a party bore

2. How to leave a party early
The best is use kids as a reason to leave if you have one. Pick a time when 2 or 3 people are leaving and piggyback onto their farewells, thereby minimising any chance of a drawn out goodbye.

3. How to react to an insult
You don't want to sink to their level, but also because any comeback will distract them from how rude they are being. If you are just as rude, it justifies their original comment. So, take a deep breath and say something like "wow" or "what was that?" because these force the insulter to hear how rude they sound.

4. How to respond to a nosy question
Just reply "I'm not comfortable discussing that" Let the simplicity of your response be a lesson.

5. How to respond to too much information
"TMI" or just say "thanks" or "woah!" Flee by saying you off for shower or something.

6. How to say in an awkward chance meeting

7. How to say when you don't know what to say
"I don't know what to say" Just don't change your tone of voice or tilt your head when you see them because the person might be wounded and broken.

8. How to make small talk

9. How to be silent
Don't whistle, don't hum, don't even sigh - all of these signify nervousness will only exacerbate any perceived tension. Simply smile and enjoy the quite. It could be well be that the other person needs-silence. And remember, it won't last forever (even though it feels like it will).

10. How to handle a bad housemate

11. How to respond to panhandlers
Giving money may be more about us and our need to offload our guilt than any need that the homeless person has.

FAMILY

1. How to cope with challenging in-laws
Maintain diplomacy."Talking it through" is not recommended. Keep your head down, smile a lot and keep any opinions to a minimum. If they are downright abusive, don't react. Reacting only inflames situation. It will also hurt your spouse. Turn a deaf ear. Your spouse should be the first person you speak to about any tension with in-law. Never go directly to the in-law.

2. How to deal with other people's misbehaving kids
You can not re-parent anyone, so don't try. You can speak directly to the monther and father of the child. They may get defensive and even be rude themselves. So it's imperative to keep your tone light and non-accusatory.

3. How to handle a tantrum
Tantrums occur between ages of 2 to 4 years old, when toddler can not yet properly articulate feelings like frustration and anger and can not yet differentiate between needs and wants. Make minimal eye contact, speaking in a low and calm voice and doing the best to get you and your kid out of public view asap. It's important not to fight fire with fire by yelling or threatening. If an adult verbally attacks you, leave-immediately. Don't fight back.

4. How to cope with a difficult sibling

5. How to succeed as a stepparent

6. How to be a good godparent
Birthday cards are mandatory, birthday presents preferred. The kid is not going to make the first move on account of the fact that they are a kid, so it's up to you to stay in touch and be consistent. You can't give good gift if you don't first get to know what they like, so put the time in.

7. How to choose last-minute gift for your dad or mum

8. How to enjoy yourself at Christmas

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

1. How to flirt

2. How to ask out your crush

3. How to escape a bad date

4. How to handle a break-up

5. How to relate to your ex's friend

6. How to handle a negative friend

7. How to repair a friendship gone sour

8. How to be the best bridesmaid ever

FOOD AND WINE

1. How to get into a no-reservations restaurant

2. How to test wine

3. How to properly match wine to food

4. How to host the perfect dinner party

5. how to have a perfect table manners

6. How to send back a dish

7. What to do if you don't like what you have been served

TRAVEL

1. How to pack a suitcase
2. How to observe in-flight etiquette
3. How to be a good houseguest
4. How to take care of a borrowed car
5. How to merge in traffic
6. How to handle road rage

SOCIAL MEDIA AND TECHNOLOGY
1. How to observe mobile phone etiquette
2. How to respond to online gossip
3. How to untag yourself from a Facebook photo
4. How to extricate yourself from Facebook
5. How to get more followers on Twitter
6. How to observe online dating etiquette

WORK
1. How to work smart not hard
2. How to blitz an interview
3. How to ask for a pay rise
4. How to get more from a business meeting
5. How to recover from an email faux pas
6. How to deal with a loud co-worker
7. How to give negative feedback
8. How to disagree with your boss
9. How to respond to radio silence

50 Tips to Help You Deal with Anxiety

1. Understand anxiety

2. Spot the symptoms

3. Learn why it affects you

4. Keep a diary
Write regularly in a dedicated anxiety diary, keep track of your feelings and emotions in this way.

5. Identify your triggers
Identify what trigger you and take steps to work on changing how you respond to these situations and in turn feel better about yourself.

6. Be prepared.
Being prepared for a situation will help you to relax.

7. Overcome stress at work

8. Improve your work environment
Keep a diary of the time spent on each task in a working day could be useful to track what you are doing during working hours. You should also make sure you take regular breaks.

9. Tackle money matters

10. Learn to manage your thoughts

11. Enjoy a treat a day
You don't have to spend money to have fun; Evening walk around the park.

12. Know your goals

13. Try something new

14. Learn to de-stress

15. Beat the blues

16. Join a support group

17. Talk about it

18. Think positively

19. Try laughter therapy

20. Get out in the sun
Our bodies create most of our vitamin D from direct sunlight and this in turn helps our brains to produce serotonin, the 'happy hormone'.

21. Get active

22. Swim for it

23. Get on your bike

24. Get walking

25. Eat regularly

26. Pep up with protein

27. Focus on healthy fats

28. Va va those vitamins

29. Max you minerals

30. Try supplements

31. Stay hydrated

32. Cut down on caffeine and alcohol
Caffeine is a stimulant which increase anxiety. Alcohol is a depressant which tend to alter or exaggerate your current state of mind.

33. Give green tea a go

34. Make your bedroom enticing
Make your bedroom sanctuary - a place for sleep and sex only. Opt for soft lighting to give the room warm glow and try scented candles. Lavender, chamomile, jasmine, and vanilla are believed to promote restful sleep.

35. Learn to clear your mind

36. Control the temperature

37. Switch off screens

38. Get the bed right

39. Devise a bedtime routine

40. Make time for yourself

41. Take time off

42. Try a spa day

43. Practise Pilates

44. Give yoga a go

45. Make time for meditation and mindfulness

46. Embrace essential oils and massage

47. Seek cognitive behavioural therapy
CBT is a form of psychotherapy that helps you to focus on replacing negative thoughts and behaviour with a more positive outlook.

48. Discover homeopathy

49. Heal with hypnosis

50. Talk to a doctor

Minions, 2015

The movie was about Kevin, Stuart, and Bob's journey to find a new master. Three of them represented the minions and went to USA. This movie was also the beginning on how they met Gru.

Cinderella, 2015

I watched this in a fast forward mode. I found it quite boring as we all knew how this story goes. The objective is just to enjoy visual effect of the movie. How the magic turns pumpkin in to carriage. It was nice visual effect but a boring movie.

Swimming Time, 9th Nov 2015

We planned to go swimming on 8am however, I only woke up on 8.30am. Then we quickly prepared to go.

After we reached there, the swimming pool was close every Monday. FML. We have to go Hougang swimming pool. So we went there. We just reached Hougang on 10am. One and a half hour after we went out from our house.

Marco was so happy. He was not scared of water. It was the first time for Thuzar to swim also.

Duck King, Mall Taman Anggrek

I went there on Saturday, 7th Nov 2015, after cutting my hair at Johny Andrean. I actually wanted to eat fiesta steak or sate khas senayan, my mother then chose this one. I think I heard Duck King has branch also in SG or it is originated from SG.

We ordered Hainanese rice, a quarter of duck, and seaweed tofu. The rice was ok. The duck was not as nice as I imagined it to be. I still prefer Dian Xiao Er. The seaweed tofu was ok.

Total bill was Rp.250K. It was definitely SG price. I may not come back there as it is a halal restaurant and I can get a better food with that kind of price tag.

Banana Cheese Turn Over Pie

I wanted to do the puff pastry myself, but I think it's a bit troublesome. So I bought a frozen pastry puff sheet from Poon Huat for $11.00, inside has 10 sheets.

I tried banana and cheese filling as it's easy. I think it turned quite nice. My only problem is the cheese always leak out from the pie. I used the singles. I may have to use the cheese block.

Night at The Museum 2

It was a boring movie. The guard were a CEO of a torch light company so he seldom visited the museum he used to work. The exhibits were packed and going to be transported to the national archives.

In the national archives, there was an Egyptian prince who wanted to get the tablet for him self. So it involved chasing, hiding, and some silly things. I fell asleep actually when watching this movie. I watched this on my laptop when I was in Jakarta trip for eKTP.

I miss MG

I went back suddenly to redo my IC (eKTP) from 4th Nov to 7th Nov. I really miss MG. I have no one calls me "Mummy" and following me all around. I really miss him so much.

Steak Joni, Gajah Mada

I finally got a chance to try the famous Steak Joni that my friend often talk about.

Basically the price was acceptable. My 200gram Ribeye steak was Rp.75K. I ordered medium well and it came medium. I was not quite happy about it. The steak was very thin and overly marinated.

As for the price I think it was acceptable.

Semper Amemus

It supposed to be "Love Always". In reality love and hate is just a thin line difference...A very fine line. Sadly...

However my love to my son is forever. I will give my life for his life. He is my flesh and blood. I love him so much and he is the only child of mine. I never loved someone like this before. I began to understand what a mother love is. The bond between a mother and her child is the only real and purest bond in the world, the only true love we can ever find in our lifetime. I know it is a bit late to realize this after almost a year after Marco was born. It is still better than never.



One told me that I take care my son just to pretend to be a hero. I can not imagine how evil one's thought is. I take care my son because I love him so much and I cherish every moment I spend with him as I don't know how many year more we can be together. Life is a mystery... I try to appreciate and be a better mother for my son.

Sunday, 1st November 2015

I woke up early on 6.30am. First thing was to find Marco. My maid also went out early today. I saw Marco's bed was empty. Maid said he slept with one out site. I went out and saw him outside.

I went back to my room but I didn't sleep. I waited until Marco woke up. I heard noise from outside, sounded like Marco's voice. Then I went out, it was Marco playing alone, he was standing in front of the TV and pressing the TV screen. No one woke up to take care him. What was the difference from yesterday. It was dangerous also to let Marco alone without anyone looking at him. So one was trying to be a hero but didn't see one's limitation. We are just human, anyone can make the same mistake.

I took Marco to my room to play and read book with him. He drank milk already I assumed as I saw an empty bottle near the TV cabinet. I did some turn over banana cheese pie for him. He likes banana. Then after baking for 20 minutes, the pies are ready. I did an egg with mustard and banana slices in the metal bowl for Marco also. I did 3 pies. I gave 1 for Marco, I ate one, and I gave sister in law 1. Then I knew it's not enough, so I did another 2 for her.

After breakfast, Marco pooped and I showered him on 9+am. After he smelled nice, we sat on the sofa to watch his nursery rhymes. I almost fallen as sleep while watching nursery rhymes. Then I went to my room, sat on the bed doing nothing. Marco played piggy back with my a while.

Lunch time, I fed him what one prepared for him. Marco finished his food. I only ate the fried rice from morning my maid fried for us. I think I didn't care as long as I filled my stomach with something.

After lunch, I really felt tired and my body was aching since yesterday. I let Marco played in the living room where one was there and I went inside to my room. In fact one was really angry that I left Marco and didn't want to make him sleep. I then sleep. on 3.30pm I heard Marco cried. I didn't go out for a while, but the crying was never stop. I decided to go out as it was not good to let him crying. I carried him and the crying stopped immediately. He was still sleepy. I brought him to my room and slept with him. He slept really fast. One went in and disturbed Marco's sleep by saying Marco to sleep. He was sleeping now he woke up again because one went in and said something not important. Marco fell as sleep again. One went in for the 2nd time to say that Marco needed to sleep outside as I didn't want to make him sleep and now one didn't want Marco to sleep with me. Marco started crying again and he became so sad from the face. I asked what the problem was. One answered the problem was me. I really don't understand. I just felt sleepy, so I went to sleep while letting Marco played outside with one. I moved Marco in my arm and made him sleep in my arm at his room.

What one did was just like what I did few weeks back. That time I remembered one said that I was "bajingan" because Marco slept peacefully and I came and woke him up. I realized that mistake and I won't do it again to my Marco. One wanted Marco to move to his room just because of selfishness. What is the difference between what I did to what one did just now? We are just human, you and I can make the same mistakes. Please look at the mirror, reflect your self (which I did in these few months), don't be so arrogant thinking that you are the best and most right. It's only God who is the most right. We are just human, who always make mistakes and imperfect.

God, please give me big heart and courage to always forgive people who treat me badly and those who hate me. I forgive them to for myself. I let go myself from hate feeling and ill thoughts. By forgiveness I hope I can reach my happiness with Marco and teach my son to be a person, not an evil.

Saturday, 31st Oct 2015

My maid took off today as she has exam. Then she went out very early and put Marco in my room. Since he put Marco in, he never slept back. It was around 6+am. Therefore I also woke up.

I fed him milk and we played a while. On 8.30am, I fed him Swiss roll in Doraemon bowl. He finished 1 big slice and I showered him around 9.30. Thinking to go out to library, I also prepared my self and changed his clothes. In fact, Sengkang library is closed due to renovation. The full month of November, Compasspoint will be closed as all shops are under renovation.

We went to NEX for around 2 hours. Library there opens at 11am. So we just walked at the shop. There is a pet shop. Marco was so happy seeing rabbits, guinea pigs, fish, and turtles. Then I brought him to Kiddy Palace to play a while. He found a toy that he likes, so it took time to move him out from there. And he was stuck there for sometime.



I reached home around 12.15 noon. Wash hands and fed him lunch. One cooked me lunch, tomato based pasta with 1 cheese sausage.

After lunch I wiped Marco and change his clothes, prepared him for nap. I was really tired while he was still playing with my stationery. I was on the bed and I called him to come up the bed. He came up and laid down beside me. I overslept and he may went down from the bed him self and continuing playing with my stationery.

I got scolding because I let him played with stationery while I slept. One accused me that I just pretend to be a hero by taking care Marco when I knew my limitation. What is it? One even pushed me harshly to the room. I could feel his palm pushing me on my back for quite some times as I felt pain. Then one told me that one had no feeling for me and he was here just to protect the family. Protect from who? Look, who is pretend to be a hero?