What Your Mother Should've Told You

I like this book as it teaches the very basic rule of life.


LIFE LESSONS
1. How to be happy
The pleasant by-product of this method is a rise in self-esteem. And once you start to feel like you're worth something you'll find hapiness- because it's in you.

2. How to make friends
Have your attitude aligned to friend-making. Smile, ask questions, don't fold your arms. It's not what you say that matters but the fact that you started a conversation in the first place. In the end, everyone just wants to be heard.

3. How to survive a set back
Remind yourself of your own strengths. Use your strengths. When you're feeling strong enough, make a frank assessment of the situation. What was my part in this? Is there anything I could have done differently? If it ever happens again, you will know what to avoid.

4. How to appear smarter
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak out and remove all doubt. But ideally you should hover somewhere in between. This means asking questions like "and then what happened?"

5. How to say no
Focus on your needs when you say no. Explain your reasons for not doing that. The sooner you start saying no, the easier it will be for everyone.

6. How to handle yourself in an argument
"Agree to disagree!" First, breathe. Count to 10. Don't talk while you are emotional. Think about it and talk after all cool down.

7. How to speak in public
Rehearse. The more prepared you are, the less chance you have of being rattled. Bring your notes. People only ever retain 20% of what you tell them.

8. How to budget like you mean it
Do the budget based on your pay cycle. Work out the absolute expenses (fixed expenses). Then work out your variable expenses. Expenses should not exceed your income.

9. How to not let money rule your life
The solution is not to penny-pinch but to refocus your goals. Start to giving away (to charity), not only will make you aware of how rich you are compared to somebody in Africa. You will also begin to feel better about yourself. When your self-esteem rises, you won't need so many material things to make you feel good. Read books to enrich your mind rather than spending money on buying things.

10. How to reduce your carbon footprint at home
Watch how you shop, turn off your appliances, use energy-efficient light bulbs,turn on your air-con above 24 deg.

MODERN MANNERS

1. How to turn down a big invitation
Call or send a note or email saying you can not come. Don't have to give an excuse. To compensate, tell them you would love to take them out to dinner at a time convenient for them to celebrate. Having dinner at your house does not count.

2. How to react to a gift you don't like
You must pretend that you like the present. Not pretending may lead to well-intentioned feelings getting hurt. Telling them that you are overwhelmed to unwrap anything now, but will open all presents later. A simple "Aww! thank you!" and it's done.

3. How to properly introduce yourself or someone else
Say Hi, follow with you name. Say "Nice to meet you" only after the other person has spoken as it can not be nice to meet them until you have properly met. Contextual yourself, like you are sister of A, or Manager of B dept. If you are introducting one person to another, and you've contextualised them, the next step is to draw out a common interest. If you are introducing one person to a group, then introduce the rest of the group to the person also. If you have forgotten someone's name it's far better to come clean than to not introduce them at all. If you are sitting, it's always best to stand when being introduced.

4. How to be a good neighbour
Don't be nosy. Don't park in anyone's driveway except your own and tell guests when the demarcation lies. Dispose your garbage thoughtfully and securely. Don't play loud music, dry your hair or turn on washing machine after 10pm. Chatting or at least saying hello to the elders of the neighbourhood.

5. how to deal with passive aggression
Treat the passive aggressive people with a small amount of compassion, because underneath it all they really feel like a trapped child. Encourage open communication by expressing what you will and won't put up with. Don't bring up old grievances. Keep it light-hearted. Dissolved tension by humour.

6. How to apologies properly
Don't use "I'm sorry you were offended" as you are not accepting responsibility and by shifting onto them, you are inflicting further harm. Screaming "I'm sorry!" in the middle of the argument can be interpreted as sarcastic. Wait until you both have calmed down, then apologize. By "Sorry", things don't go back to normal. "People don't forget." Begin by explaining what you know you did wrong without offering any excuses. Then tell the person how sorry you are. Then talk to them about possible ways you can avoid repeating your behaviour in the future.

7. How to politely refuse advice
Just say "uh-huhs" and change the subject. Shutting them down doesn't help you long term. Just nod your head slowly to convey your awe at their specialised knowledge and reply "Yes! I know!".

8. How to behave at the funeral
Be on time. Wear conservative clothes that are black. Don't sit down the front, make yourself as unobstrusive as possible. Offer condolences (I'm so sorry) then quickly move on.

TRICKY SITUATIONS

1. How to escape a party bore

2. How to leave a party early
The best is use kids as a reason to leave if you have one. Pick a time when 2 or 3 people are leaving and piggyback onto their farewells, thereby minimising any chance of a drawn out goodbye.

3. How to react to an insult
You don't want to sink to their level, but also because any comeback will distract them from how rude they are being. If you are just as rude, it justifies their original comment. So, take a deep breath and say something like "wow" or "what was that?" because these force the insulter to hear how rude they sound.

4. How to respond to a nosy question
Just reply "I'm not comfortable discussing that" Let the simplicity of your response be a lesson.

5. How to respond to too much information
"TMI" or just say "thanks" or "woah!" Flee by saying you off for shower or something.

6. How to say in an awkward chance meeting

7. How to say when you don't know what to say
"I don't know what to say" Just don't change your tone of voice or tilt your head when you see them because the person might be wounded and broken.

8. How to make small talk

9. How to be silent
Don't whistle, don't hum, don't even sigh - all of these signify nervousness will only exacerbate any perceived tension. Simply smile and enjoy the quite. It could be well be that the other person needs-silence. And remember, it won't last forever (even though it feels like it will).

10. How to handle a bad housemate

11. How to respond to panhandlers
Giving money may be more about us and our need to offload our guilt than any need that the homeless person has.

FAMILY

1. How to cope with challenging in-laws
Maintain diplomacy."Talking it through" is not recommended. Keep your head down, smile a lot and keep any opinions to a minimum. If they are downright abusive, don't react. Reacting only inflames situation. It will also hurt your spouse. Turn a deaf ear. Your spouse should be the first person you speak to about any tension with in-law. Never go directly to the in-law.

2. How to deal with other people's misbehaving kids
You can not re-parent anyone, so don't try. You can speak directly to the monther and father of the child. They may get defensive and even be rude themselves. So it's imperative to keep your tone light and non-accusatory.

3. How to handle a tantrum
Tantrums occur between ages of 2 to 4 years old, when toddler can not yet properly articulate feelings like frustration and anger and can not yet differentiate between needs and wants. Make minimal eye contact, speaking in a low and calm voice and doing the best to get you and your kid out of public view asap. It's important not to fight fire with fire by yelling or threatening. If an adult verbally attacks you, leave-immediately. Don't fight back.

4. How to cope with a difficult sibling

5. How to succeed as a stepparent

6. How to be a good godparent
Birthday cards are mandatory, birthday presents preferred. The kid is not going to make the first move on account of the fact that they are a kid, so it's up to you to stay in touch and be consistent. You can't give good gift if you don't first get to know what they like, so put the time in.

7. How to choose last-minute gift for your dad or mum

8. How to enjoy yourself at Christmas

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

1. How to flirt

2. How to ask out your crush

3. How to escape a bad date

4. How to handle a break-up

5. How to relate to your ex's friend

6. How to handle a negative friend

7. How to repair a friendship gone sour

8. How to be the best bridesmaid ever

FOOD AND WINE

1. How to get into a no-reservations restaurant

2. How to test wine

3. How to properly match wine to food

4. How to host the perfect dinner party

5. how to have a perfect table manners

6. How to send back a dish

7. What to do if you don't like what you have been served

TRAVEL

1. How to pack a suitcase
2. How to observe in-flight etiquette
3. How to be a good houseguest
4. How to take care of a borrowed car
5. How to merge in traffic
6. How to handle road rage

SOCIAL MEDIA AND TECHNOLOGY
1. How to observe mobile phone etiquette
2. How to respond to online gossip
3. How to untag yourself from a Facebook photo
4. How to extricate yourself from Facebook
5. How to get more followers on Twitter
6. How to observe online dating etiquette

WORK
1. How to work smart not hard
2. How to blitz an interview
3. How to ask for a pay rise
4. How to get more from a business meeting
5. How to recover from an email faux pas
6. How to deal with a loud co-worker
7. How to give negative feedback
8. How to disagree with your boss
9. How to respond to radio silence

50 Tips to Help You Deal with Anxiety

1. Understand anxiety

2. Spot the symptoms

3. Learn why it affects you

4. Keep a diary
Write regularly in a dedicated anxiety diary, keep track of your feelings and emotions in this way.

5. Identify your triggers
Identify what trigger you and take steps to work on changing how you respond to these situations and in turn feel better about yourself.

6. Be prepared.
Being prepared for a situation will help you to relax.

7. Overcome stress at work

8. Improve your work environment
Keep a diary of the time spent on each task in a working day could be useful to track what you are doing during working hours. You should also make sure you take regular breaks.

9. Tackle money matters

10. Learn to manage your thoughts

11. Enjoy a treat a day
You don't have to spend money to have fun; Evening walk around the park.

12. Know your goals

13. Try something new

14. Learn to de-stress

15. Beat the blues

16. Join a support group

17. Talk about it

18. Think positively

19. Try laughter therapy

20. Get out in the sun
Our bodies create most of our vitamin D from direct sunlight and this in turn helps our brains to produce serotonin, the 'happy hormone'.

21. Get active

22. Swim for it

23. Get on your bike

24. Get walking

25. Eat regularly

26. Pep up with protein

27. Focus on healthy fats

28. Va va those vitamins

29. Max you minerals

30. Try supplements

31. Stay hydrated

32. Cut down on caffeine and alcohol
Caffeine is a stimulant which increase anxiety. Alcohol is a depressant which tend to alter or exaggerate your current state of mind.

33. Give green tea a go

34. Make your bedroom enticing
Make your bedroom sanctuary - a place for sleep and sex only. Opt for soft lighting to give the room warm glow and try scented candles. Lavender, chamomile, jasmine, and vanilla are believed to promote restful sleep.

35. Learn to clear your mind

36. Control the temperature

37. Switch off screens

38. Get the bed right

39. Devise a bedtime routine

40. Make time for yourself

41. Take time off

42. Try a spa day

43. Practise Pilates

44. Give yoga a go

45. Make time for meditation and mindfulness

46. Embrace essential oils and massage

47. Seek cognitive behavioural therapy
CBT is a form of psychotherapy that helps you to focus on replacing negative thoughts and behaviour with a more positive outlook.

48. Discover homeopathy

49. Heal with hypnosis

50. Talk to a doctor

Marco The Bear

I was so tempted to borrow these book at the library because of the title.

The bear named Marco , escaped from the zoo and visited one of the house in the neighbourhood because that house served a nice tea.

The other book was about the bear who was permanently stay there was a master in disguise. He can be a rug, a statue, a decorative stuffed animal, and so on to trick the visitors at the house.

How to Win Friends & Influence People

This is the book needed by people like me. People who doesn't really understand other people.

The first 3 chapters are about fundamental techniques how to handle people.

The first chapter has slapped me on my face. This is just the first chapter. If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. I always make people upset or offended because I just say what I think. The very effective example of this chapter is about how Lincoln treated his General Maede. In stead of sharp criticism, he would think than he would have done what his general had done. Putting him self on other people's shoes is the way he solved problem. To vent our disappointment is a relief for us but it makes other people upset or feel hurt. Long story short, principle 1 is DON'T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN.

The second chapter is not done yet but overall main idea is about people like the feeling to be appreciated. By threatening, you will not get the result you want. I may will, but that will happen only temporary. Praise and appreciation will motivate people more. Always see positive side even when you are in a very bad situation. Rockefeller still praised his partner Bedfort after losing a million dollar by a bad guy in South Africa. He saw the positive side of the event. He praised Bedford for still saving 60% of the money he had invested in. In every occasion, there is always a positive side. It depends which side you want to see. Whether the glass is half full or half empty. Principle 2 is GIVE HONEST AND SINCERE APPRECIATION.

I think every chapter is slaps on my face. I see how I can progress along the way.

Principle 3 is AROUSE IN THE OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT. Basically every one is just interested in their own business. Who cares about what you want. Everyone has a craving to feel important.

The second few chapters are about ways to make people like you.

Principle 1 : Be genuinely interested in other people. Like if you meet a biologist, ask question about his expertise. Or ask about someone's hobby.

Principle 2 : Smile. I think this one I have done it in office environment. It works.

Principle 3 : Remember that a person's name is to the person the sweetest and the most important sound in any languages.I need to practice this as often forget people's name especially if their name is in Chinese.

Principle 4 : Be a good listener. Encourage people to talk about them self. This one I think still ties in with the first principle about you interested in other people.

I will continue again next week. I think I have learned something on the way to office and home. I see my self use my time better rather than just browsing with my phone.

The Sleeper and The Spindle

This book is by Nail Gaiman, one of Niko's favorite author.

The story began with a queen who has 3 dwarfs as her servants. They went to save a princess who has been cursed. The princess had been sleeping around 80 years with an old witch guarding her. No one had been able to go through the castle.

The queen and the dwarfs in fact managed to reach the castle and met the old witch. The queen kissed the princess and she woke up.

The reality twisted here where in fact the old lady was actually the princess whom the witch had stole her sleep. The young lady was the witch who became young because she absorbed the sleep of people including the princess'.



The story ended when the princess stabbed the spindle into the witch's heart.

Candy Candy

This was the famous Japanese comic (manga) in 1990's in Jakarta. It was popular on 1980's in Japan.
I bought the whole series of this comic at Gramedia Matraman. When I read the 1st book, I cried because Candy was sold to the Mexican guy as slave. So sad, isn't it?

Surprisingly when Anthony (the rich boy character who liked Candy) died, I was not sad...May be because I hate girly boys.

The whole story about this girl journey is interesting. Especially when she became a nurse. I think the most disappointing is the ending of the whole journey. Why the author did not end it like Candy married a man and drew a happy family at the last page.

What Every Body is Saying

This book is about reading the body language. I think sometimes it's useful if we as human are equipped with this knowledge. They are non-verbal communications, such as facial expressions,gestures, physical movements (kinesics), body distance(proxemics), touching (haptics), posture, even clothing—to decipher what people are thinking, how they intend to act, and whether their pronouncements are true or false.

This book is written by an FBI agent, so believe it or not, he has proven this theory to be accurate.

Nonverbal communication, often referred to as nonverbal behavior or body language, is a means of transmitting information—just like the spoken word—except it is achieved through facial expressions, gestures,touching (haptics), physical movements (kinesics), posture, body adornment (clothes, jewelry, hairstyle, tattoos, etc.), and even the tone, timbre,and volume of an individual’s voice (rather than spoken content).
Nonverbal behaviors comprise approximately 60 to 65 percent of all interpersonal communication and, during lovemaking, can constitute 100 percent of communication between partners (Burgoon, 1994,229–285).

Nonverbal communication can also reveal a person’s true thoughts, feelings, and intentions. For this reason, nonverbal behaviors are sometimes referred to as tells (they tell us about the person’s true state of mind). Because people are not always aware they are communicating nonverbally, body language is often more honest than an individual’s verbal pronouncements, which are consciously crafted to accomplish the
speaker’s objectives.

Predictable Irrational by Dan Ariely

I like this book some how because it's applicable in daily life. It's also interesting because all the hypothesis are supported by survey or tested on MIT students.

The first chapter tells you about the truth about relativity. So bad or good, it's really depends on the surrounding. Here's the lesson from this chapter : when a similar but better-looking friend of the same sex asks you to accompany him or her for a night out, you might wonder whether you have been invited along for your company or merely as a decoy...hahaha...just joking :P

The second chapter tells you about the fallacy of supply and demand. That our first decisions resonate over a long sequence of decisions. First impressions are important. it is important to understand the process by which our first decisions translate into long-term habits.

The third chapter tells you about the cost of zero cost. FREE! gives us such an emotional charge that we perceive what is being offered as immensely more valuable than it really is. it's because humans are intrinsically afraid of loss. The real allure of FREE! is tied to this fear. There's no visible possibility of loss when we choose a FREE! item (it's free).

The fourth chapter tells you about the cost of social norms. Just thinking about money makes us behave as most economists believe we behave—and less like the social animals we are in our daily lives.

The fifth chapter tells you about the influence of arousal. Some how I will not elaborate this as I think this is not important. :D

The sixth chapter tells you about the problem of procrastination and self control. The survey results suggest that although almost everyone has problems with procrastination, those who recognize and admit their weakness are in a better position to utilize available tools for pre-commitment and by doing so, help themselves overcome it. We have problems with self-control, related to immediate and delayed gratification—no doubt there.

The seventh chapter tells you about the high price of ownership. OWNERSHIP IS NOT limited to material things. It can also apply to points of view. Once we take ownership of an idea—whether it's about politics or sports—what do we do? We love it perhaps more than we should. We prize it more than it is worth. And most frequently, we have trouble letting go of it because we can't stand the idea of its loss.

Outliers by Malcom Gladwell

This book is really interesting at the beginning, after that it's getting monotonous.

Chapter one explains about Matthew effect. there is a relation between months of the child's birth and the intake of academic year and then further it will influence your child's future.

Chapter two explains about the 10K hour rule. In order to master something, you need to get through this 10K hour practice.

Chapter three explains about trouble with geniuses, part 1. To be successful, you need certain level of IQ. But there's threshold of this IQ system, it will matters only up to a point.

Chapter four explains about trouble with geniuses, part 2. It's a combination between opportunity, being born in wealth family,the effort to get through the 10K hour rule for the geniuses to be successful.

Chapter five explains about lesson from Joe Flom. My personal understanding of this chapter is about you need to be born in the right time (being in the right generation) and to be outliers.

These 5 chapters are talking about opportunity. What I can apply in my life after reading this book are in the family planning (child's birth month in relation to the academic intake), the parent's role to encourage and polish the child's talent and interest, and see the child's IQ which is carried when she/he is born.

I will continue to summarize the part two which talks about legacy after I finish reading.

What on Earth Am I Here for?

This book tells you about God is the source.
You have to ask the creator if you want to know the purpose of the invention.

Actually this book is an introduction of "The Purpose of Driven Life".

On Bullshit

This book is recommended by a lot of bloggers.
This book covers what bullshit is and difference between lie, bullshit and bull session.
I think there's nothing such meaningful about this book... T-T

Creative Tools

This book covers the thinking tools you need to do projects. There are many kind of tools.
Following the right process of design is also important to achieve the objective.

Yes, Please Thanks!

This book is about how to educate and to prepare you children for the future.

This book has opened my eyes on what I didn't get from my parents and how to educate my own children.

Tintin in Congo

When we were going around at Heartland Mall at Kovan, I found this book.

Tintin in Congo has never been published in Indonesia. It has a red seal that this book is a collector edition to complete the whole series of tintin adventure. Actually It is.

With this book, I finally has completed my tintin series.

But after reading this, then I know why this book has never been published. I think this book is the first book that Herge had written. And the story line is not as interesting as other series. Everything that happened to Tintin was really coincidental. That makes the story become rubbish.

In order to complete the collection, publisher published this book as collector edition.

Smurf Perhiasan

This book is lent by Yenty.

Smurf Badut is kidnapped by human. And he is forced to steal gems and diamond from other people's houses.

Papa Smurf and other smurf are trying to help Smurf Badut.

When Smurf Badut is smuggling in one house, he accidentally met a boy. The boy has been kidnapped from his rich father for ransom.

So the missions are to save Smurf Badut and to return the boy to his father.

Chinese Cinderella

This book is about an unwanted little girl.

Her mother died when giving birth to her. Because of that her dad didn't love her. And all her siblings blamed her to cause their mother died.

During her school year she had done very well, led her classmates. But other than that, she lived in miseries.

Her grandfather always encouraged her. And he belived that she is special.

Her step mother hated her very much.

But after she won International Writing Competition, her life began to change. She was the first Hong Kong student that won this competition. Then since that time, her father allowed her to study in England, taking medical science as her major.

Diary of a Whimpy Kid

I started to read this book since last sunday. I read this book very fast, I think because there are a lot of drawing inside. It's funny and relaxing.

I'll buy the next series this weekend. :D