How to Win Friends & Influence People

This is the book needed by people like me. People who doesn't really understand other people.

The first 3 chapters are about fundamental techniques how to handle people.

The first chapter has slapped me on my face. This is just the first chapter. If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. I always make people upset or offended because I just say what I think. The very effective example of this chapter is about how Lincoln treated his General Maede. In stead of sharp criticism, he would think than he would have done what his general had done. Putting him self on other people's shoes is the way he solved problem. To vent our disappointment is a relief for us but it makes other people upset or feel hurt. Long story short, principle 1 is DON'T CRITICIZE, CONDEMN OR COMPLAIN.

The second chapter is not done yet but overall main idea is about people like the feeling to be appreciated. By threatening, you will not get the result you want. I may will, but that will happen only temporary. Praise and appreciation will motivate people more. Always see positive side even when you are in a very bad situation. Rockefeller still praised his partner Bedfort after losing a million dollar by a bad guy in South Africa. He saw the positive side of the event. He praised Bedford for still saving 60% of the money he had invested in. In every occasion, there is always a positive side. It depends which side you want to see. Whether the glass is half full or half empty. Principle 2 is GIVE HONEST AND SINCERE APPRECIATION.

I think every chapter is slaps on my face. I see how I can progress along the way.

Principle 3 is AROUSE IN THE OTHER PERSON AN EAGER WANT. Basically every one is just interested in their own business. Who cares about what you want. Everyone has a craving to feel important.

The second few chapters are about ways to make people like you.

Principle 1 : Be genuinely interested in other people. Like if you meet a biologist, ask question about his expertise. Or ask about someone's hobby.

Principle 2 : Smile. I think this one I have done it in office environment. It works.

Principle 3 : Remember that a person's name is to the person the sweetest and the most important sound in any languages.I need to practice this as often forget people's name especially if their name is in Chinese.

Principle 4 : Be a good listener. Encourage people to talk about them self. This one I think still ties in with the first principle about you interested in other people.

I will continue again next week. I think I have learned something on the way to office and home. I see my self use my time better rather than just browsing with my phone.