I am currently questioning my friendship with some people. I actually have been keeping quiet about nasty things they said to me. When time passed by, we are back to normal again. But somehow it seems like things are keep happening.
It started on 2015 when I was in unfavorable situation. I chose a person to talk to whom I believe he was mature enough to listen and understand. In fact, it was not the case. I suspected him that he told the story to his girlfriend (now wife) and laughed about it. Yes, it was not your problem. you can laugh about it. Who knows it happens to you in future.
On 2016 I met my uni friend who came to Singapore visiting. I brought Marco along. Marco was just 2 years old. He was active and naughty. He played with the plastic cup and ice and made the table messy. He was just 2 year old kid. My friend (who doesn't have kid) said "my dog is better than your kid". I was stunt that time. I went through a lot of though thing to conceive this son and raise him. I just cannot accept that statement. I almost bang table and fuck her off. I didn't. I thought I appreciate the friendship and this statement just slipped from her mouth.
On 2020 in whatsapp group chat, there are incidents offending me. One (supposedly) friend said I behaved like typical Singaporean. Then the one of then said "I know what you meant". I was not so happy about it.
On 2020 today, a (supposedly) friend has a house which in the high floor and he has not installed window grills. We told him to install one because it's dangerous. Now his daughter just turn one. Then he installed grill and saying it will be just few years. I said it's better to install forever because there are suicide case and you will never know. He said if want to suicide, can be anywhere, not necessary to be at home. But I said at home normally more depressing so most suicide cases happened at home. This is out of my goodwill suggestion. He replied my statement about at home usually is more depressing by "your home may be". I think I should draw the line this time. Your house, not mine. your kid's life, not mine. But don't insult my imperfect life just because your life seems better than mine.
Based on these series of experiences, I must review my friendship. I cannot keep giving in because of past memory. If a person appreciates the relationship, I don't think will say or act carelessly. I do learn overtime. Regardless how close the relationship is with the person, you cannot say anything without thinking how the other person would feel after hearing you.
Out of my good will telling (supposedly) friends about preventing unfortunate things from happening, they attack me instead. Suicide can be caused not only because parent's pressure on academic result. It can be caused by bad relationship with friends, hormones and kid's ownself expectation on achieveing something in life.
Another argument on not giving so much pressure to kid on academic result is Singapore educational system. Their aggregate will form their future path. Despite chemistry, biology and other subjects are not really relevant to our daily work life, they contribute to your academic aggregate which eventually determine which education institution your kid will attend.
Eventually the older we are, the lesser time we have for other people. Everyone's time is limited to 24 hours a day. So we must be very wise in utilising our time. If our experience with certain people is not very pleasant, then we must dare to bet good bye and welcome new people. Life is short, don't waste time for people who make your life even more difficult and unhappy. So I bet goodbye.
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